The 5 stages of having successful friends

Despite the energy that you pour into hiding your inggit (envy) factor and your overwhelming praises to your successfully happy friends, you still can't keep that green monster at bay. If you caught yourself on throwback moments from the time that you and your friends were still equally miserable maybe it's time to take a little step back, run and proceed to...

1.  DENIAL

         Before you make a grimace upon seeing an Instagram post of that wing of a plane from your buddy, your mind's initial response is denial. Simply, you'd just scoff at your 'ol buddy traveling. 'He's going where? Noooo!', followed by nervous laughter. Later on, you'd be scrolling all over his social media to find more substantiating photos that he really did. That he had achieved the goals you got tired of hearing of from him. Comes with Denial, which is Rationalization, and you wonder how much loan did he borrow to afford such a lifestyle. To add matters worse, your other bud chats you up about weekend plans. Just as you are thrilled to do so, he brought up that your 'ol buddy went somewhere out of the country with his boss. Oh, he just got promoted. It's nice that his sipsip (ass-kissing) philosophy is still embedded.

         Since inggit factor thrives to your consciousness you stall your bud to questions to avoid the topic. Pretending like you're not interested. You can deny all you want for so long until another friend just happily texted that he bought a new condo unit. Guess you won't need to offer your 10 by 10-meter apartment on your next Walwal (Wasted Drunk) Wednesday, then. There, you just keep on shaking your head in denial that your friends are more successful than you are.

2.  ANGER

          Once the reality sinks in that you are the only person from the gang who hasn't moved up from their menial life, you will start throwing fits of anger at probably anybody in your life. Even strangers are not immune to it. You're not going to yell at everyone, however, you would just silently badmouth 'ol buddy, bud, and budoy either to yourself or to other people. Saying kinds of stuff like, "Lagi naman ako ang takbuhan nila 'pag may problema sila (They used to run to me when they have problems)", or the usual colloquial remarks such as 'mayabang', 'puro pa-pogi lang naman' and such. You accept that you are a loser, to add more than your mother keeps elbowing you to get out of the porch and find a nicer job so she'll win in the next comparing-your-children contest. 

3.  BARGAINING

          So, you're tired of being angry all the time at everyone as to why you are not yet wearing a crisp suit and that your friends seem to be rubbing it to your face? You try to assess what you are missing so you start bargaining. You negotiate to anything accessible like maybe posting cheesy inspirational quotes with your selfie as you gain likes or you treat a bucket for the weekend. Some people, if they can't improve their quality of living, they would try to make a good turn on their social lives like having another circle of friends or having a love life. 
          Purposely, you wouldn't contact or even show up to your friends but will be scurrying on your phone to upload your latest gimik (see Walwalan) at the Wild Flower Kambingan with your new boyz. Always saying kinds of stuff like 'There's more to life than...' crap. Doing this might make you believe, even delusionally, that you have regained your status and of course your esteem. In short, papansin ka. Still,  the root of your frustration still lingers and your bargaining tactics doesn't cut it. Your self-worth crumbles and falls to...

4.  DEPRESSION

          After a deep realization and stunts to redeem yourself among your friends, you finally find it clear that 5 years ago is 5 years ago. You find it clear that you may have started together as the pasaway kids on the block and the classroom rejects you will never be all the same during adulthood. While they went on to their success, you inclined to your self-pity business. While you may or may not succumb to 'lie and cry to bed' you'd probably lie in your bed with inertia and drag your feet, lifeless. Depression is anger but inwards to yourself. You also start to withdraw from your social circles because you feel like more of their alalay than as a friend.
You grieve in your old tightening clothes because of your beer belly. You grieve a lot of shallow losses in your life particularly when it is sweldo (pay) time and you wonder where your other percentage of salary went to. In fact, you grieve for the totality of having your life.

5. ACCEPTANCE

          Once you are able to go through your depress-depressan stage, you'd accept that you are not able to catch up to the successful life race. Although, you won't really be happy and look like that guy in a spiritual photo, open arms towards the sky with eyes closed. The acceptance stage is where you will be readily expecting news to come that your friends will be more steps ahead of you. You have also acknowledged that it's not the equation of privileges but fear that your friends' new lives will strain your friendship. Say, you lead different lives and they meet different people. So, acceptance itself, you won't do anything about it. Flatly, you'll just accept the differences in your circumstances. 

Welp, that's just for starters. Wait until the skies open up on your friends and you, excluded, will go through this again. But hey, everything is just a phase, right? RIIIGGGHHHT?!?!