People From College I don't want to see again (or on my social mediafeeds)

It is slightly impossible to stay away from the clutches of people's thought nowadays now that even Mars is coming within our reach. College. The miasma of frustration, shattering childhood innocent dreams, overwhelmingly stench of sweat and blood and the exposure to reality. Just a few weeks to go and I will be on the big leap outta college. There are a lot of things to miss, a lot of things I want to do again and so many moments I don't want to remember. Not only am I getting my diploma but I will be escaping as well from the terror of breathing the same air with unpleasant people to another set of unpleasant people in my new phase. Here is my personal list of species that I wish I never see. Though, if ever fate makes a mistake of letting us cross paths, I hope (and dyingly hope, Jose Maria!) that the good fate sides with me. *Teleserye Evil, Triumphant Laugh*

1. The fair-weathered bitch

"Can I", "May I" ,"Will you" and "Do you" are their favorite starter line in the hope of creating a friendship with for as long as they need you. Later on, a winter solstice will cast upon your 'friendship'. Weeks later, the latter phrases will be heard from them, making you feel like you are the only person they trust in their own mini, pathetic world. Even if  though before you hit college, you have been on a first-hand experience with these type of villains not unless you show them that people aren't apps, they might at least reflect on their behavior. For only a few minutes until a naive victim comes along.

2. That Egomaniac

This ego-logy major feels like he or she has the need to be superior all of the time. If you're a mediocre, you'll be lucky to be the minion. Uh-oh, you scored a point higher than her? Get ready to be stared down by her rational mad mind calculating how you cheated on that exam. These type of people have the worst kind of survival instinct. They are as ferocious as the predators who feel the need to be on top of the food chain. Probably because at some aspect of their life, they are failures in it.

3. That chauvinistic pig 

That sexist moron who feels that to be an alpha male is to piss around a nice chick to contain authority over her. Not only that, these are the types of men that made my self-confidence slide down and the rest who feels the same. The problem with them is that a pretty hot chick is worth all the respect thus disrespecting the ugly ducklings and still has delicadeza to hold out a sign saying, "Equality for women". Bastards. Bastards who sucks their own dicks. Trust me, these asswipes should never, ever be allowed to procreate. Their breed shall end. Always keep a condom girls if you're dating these asswipes.

4. That obnoxious foreigner

Not toning to racism FYI, though sitting beside that student from across the country or sitting just across your seat is fun not only can you train your English fluency but having foreign classmate has rewarding experiences as well such as exploring a different culture through him or her. Except that someone who wears entitlement for everything just because he or she came from a country where our countrymen works their ass off. I mean, personally, there is only one person who made our class hell making 'lost in translation' his excuse to everything including a bad behavior.  Not being an asshole has no language, but it is understood across races.

5. That high-maintenance bubble head

We all know that society sorority girl who is good at perfecting her cat eye-liner and nothing else but that. When I was in college, there were others who were high-maintenanced who were so good at perfecting eye-liners and perfecting the quiz. The other, and only one, rather is just that. That girl who knows the latests of fads but not the latest grim and disturbing class lessons. Lucky me that a few of this ditz I encountered have dissolved even before the middle of midterms. 

6. That gluttoned thief

Never should you leave your bag open with your Jollibee Yum Burger on it. Also, bad news,this foodie police have evolved his olfactory senses equal to a canine's strong sense of smell. So, if I were you, stuff your lecture snack inside a smelly sock to cut off his nosy nose.

7. That own-it-all or risk-it-all achiever

He probably needs a crash course about teamwork and task delegation. At most times, they may be the best group mates because they wear the work over their head and it cuts you a slack. However, it screws you in a feeling that you loafed around. What is worst is that even if you volunteer and turnover your delegated task, it is still inadequate to their ideals. Because the only thing that matters in this group project is 'his.' You, you and you are just his cute, lazy minions. Oh and they are best paired with the #2. Contrasting but complementary like sweet and spicy.

8. That crush with the brighter smile with a brighter future

We are just out of each other's league and he'll probably have a hotter and more successful wife. More reason I should escape from the same mile radius as him. Still, there's a little voice in your wishful thinking part of your subconscious that you bump into him and ya know, walking like a trophy chick.

9. That one who is so friendly, likeable, A-student and more likely that the whole nation will cry to if he or she dies.

I like this person so much. This fella had been good to me and doesn't choose friends and does not care if you have the brain of a rocket scientist or a complete buffoon, this fella is the best. This person is a stellar divine creation and will probably cry if this fella dies but no, because I'm insecure.

10. That freeloader

Avoid at all cost. Leeches may be the only parasites that are medicinal but these type of people are not leeches, they are nothing more but parasites. These are the people who dances between your feet to enjoy the same nice things you have with the avid belief that the world is a generous place in which 'kapal ng mukha' is an obsolete phrase.

11. That future politician

More reason to avoid this person. At all cost. P.S., except for future favors, off course *wink*